Confirming Who We Are
Confirming Who We Are
Colossians 3:12-14
The first thing that I want to say to you confirmands this morning is, “Congratulations!” The first milestone moment for you was when your parents and the church baptized you. The commitments made on that day were made by your parents and by the community of faith: to welcome you into the church family; to care for you in your growing years; to give you the chance to learn about the life of faith that we are called to live, loving God and loving our neighbors. At that point, given how young you were, you were just along for the ride. Then, across a lot of Sundays, your parents and your church family fulfilled those promises. You found a home filled with friends, some your own age or younger, some 10 times older than you. They cared for you and about you and you learned to care for and about them, too.
At some point, “along for the ride” loses its charm. You realize that just because your parents are going somewhere, you don’t have to go there, too, just because they are doing or thinking or believing something, that doesn’t mean you have to blindly follow them. You start to have your own ideas and preferences. You start to want to make your own choices about who you are going to be. You start to become your own self.
You have changed. That’s the part that I want to congratulate you about. How awful would it be if you just never changed at all? Sure, your parents may think every now and then that it sure was easier when you were “along for the ride” but really, that thought passes quickly. The people who love you most want you to become your own self. They also realize that this is a huge project, maybe even a lifelong project. In fact, the more you work at becoming yourself, the more you may realize that your parents and the other adults around you are actually working on the same thing for themselves: “Who am I,” “What’s happening here,” “What am I supposed to be doing with this life?”
This is a church that wants you to ask questions like that and wants you to not only know that other people ask those questions but that we do better if we ask those questions together. The good news is that you had Tracy to teach you this. She didn’t ask you to memorize what she thinks or what other “experts” think. She asked you, “Who is God,” “Who was Jesus,” “What is the Holy Spirit?” She introduced you to the conversation that’s been going on for 3000 years about such things. Most importantly, she asked you, “What do you think?” This is, in fact, one of the very best things that Tracy has done in her ministry—to be someone who listens and who, in that listening, lets you know that you matter and that she cares.
Today, you stood before us and said, “I’m here because I choose to be here.” You’re not telling us that you’ve arrived and that you have all the answers. Instead, your telling us that this is a journey of faith that you want to be on and that you intend to continue. Who knows where that will carry you? However, I do know this. There will be times when God feels close and times when God feels very distant. (We’ve all been there!) There will be times when you are inspired to be a better person and times when you are your worst self. (Ditto for all of us!). The good news is that the journey continues, that there is forgiveness, life will go on. We will get to try again.
Sometimes, we just need to step back and remind ourselves what it is that we are actually trying to do. Even though we may wildly miss the target, what’s the goal? That’s what I’d like to talk to you about for a few minutes.
Some people will tell you that the goal is to go to heaven, to get God to love us, to stay out of hell. Here’s what I want you to hear, loud and clear, from me this morning. I think that God already loves us—all of us—even the people we can’t stand—even us on the days when we can’t stand ourselves. Like the people who love us, even on our bad days, this doesn’t mean that God or those people can’t also be disappointed in us. It doesn’t mean that they aren’t all wracking their brains to figure out some way to help us be better. However, people who love us don’t manipulate us by threatening us with eternal pain or bribe us with visions of eternal happiness. A loving parent would never do that to us. Why would a loving God?
In fact, I would say to you that “heaven” and “hell” make the most sense to me in the midst of this life. I remember sitting with a family that was having a terrible conflict. They were so mad at each other. They said really mean and hurtful things. That seemed, in fact, to be the goal. And, as I sat there, I thought to myself, “This right here…this is hell on earth.” I also remember sitting in a big room in a camp in Missouri, a camp for mentally and physically disabled children and adults. There was a dance going on. People in wheelchairs were dancing with people who weren’t in wheelchairs—and they were figuring out how to make that fun. The people not in the wheelchairs were youth group members from this church. I remember thinking to myself, “This…this is heaven—right here, right now.”
I think that rather than worrying about getting into heaven or staying out of hell, we all ought to spend more time wondering how we could create less hell on earth and maybe be a part of the joy of feeling like we are, however briefly, in heaven. That all has to do with the choices that we make and the choices that others make and how all those things come together—in my experience, with plenty of help from God along the way. The only part of all of that, though, that’s really in our control is our own choices. The question is, “How can I tune myself to see the possibilities that I otherwise might miss?”
In fact, I think this is why we turn to Jesus’ teachings. Our natural, default setting in life is to be self-centered. It’s the most natural thing in the world to want what we want and want it now, to not think about how our choices and actions might harm others, to act as if the most important person in the world is me. When you were a baby, you were the center of the universe, not just for you but for your parents, too. Their job, though, was to eventually share the earth shattering news that this was not true, that if you were going go have friends, you were going to have to learn to share, and allow for someone else’s needs, and make real sacrifices for others. (Trust me, plenty of adults are still struggling with these lessons!)
Jesus challenges us: to care for the people everyone else overlooks and ignores; to forgive freely and to willingly seek others’ forgiveness; to let other people go first; to believe that there is nothing more important than loving God and loving our neighbor. He says we should feed the hungry; visit the sick, and welcome the stranger. And he says we should do this not to rack up points but simply because we are grateful that there is a God who already loves us, despite the total piece of work we all are. Care, share, love and then repeat and repeat and repeat.
This leads into why we need a community of faith. We are social creatures. We all know that the friends we spend time with shape who we are. If you want to be a better tennis player, you play with tennis players who play better than you do. If you want to become a better musician, play in the best band you can find. If you want to be a better person, do the same thing—find people who are working, in their own way, on the same project—trying to be better people, themselves.
People work on that project in lots of different ways. People cut buckthorn together in Open Lands and care for the earth. (Those people are important to me.) People stock the shelves in food pantries together so that the hungry will have food. Serving those in need is definitely a way to grow as a person. People might study great thinkers, or great spiritual leaders from wildly different traditions, or look around the world right now and ask, “Who is inspiring me today?”
I’m biased, of course, but a church like this—where people care about each other and seem to make the connection that we’re supposed to help as many people as we can—is a pretty great place to surround yourself quickly with folks who are looking to grow. You know that who your friends are can shape who you. Who your community of faith is matters just as much. It is easier to grow as a person if I’m planted in a community of people who are working together to become more loving and compassionate.
Here’s the secret: the more that we grow, the more we immerse ourselves in trying to help others, the more I care about what someone else needs rather than what I want, the less I think about myself at all. That’s how I know that I’m on the right path. If I was just thinking about what sounds fun, I wouldn’t be making lunches for the shelter. The crazy thing, though, is that without ever thinking about it, when I just throw myself into whatever it takes to help someone else, I usually have fun but also feel something so much deeper. I feel the joy of making a difference. I feel like it mattered that I was here. I feel deeply connected to others who cared about something more than just themselves, too.
I remember when I graduated from junior high school, the most popular thing to write in each other’s year books was, “Don’t ever change!” What a terrible thought! In fact, there are a few people I knew then who I don’t think ever did change and that’s just so sad! I say to you, “Change!” Surround yourself with people who will make you better who are interested in growing. Make those people your friends and your teammates and you bandmates. I hope that you will make room in your life for some people from this church to matter that much, too.
In the end, those people may be men or women. (I hope they’re both!) Those people may be old or young. They may be Jewish or Christian or Muslim or Hindu or none of the above. No matter how different they might all seem, you’ll know them when you meet them because they will be asking, “How can I help?” If you’re lucky, they’ll look you in the eye and ask, “Hey…you want to do this together?” Just as you’ve confirmed your faith journey, I hope you will say “Yes” without hesitation to the chance to make a difference and live what you believe. And I hope, when that happens, you might catch your own glimpse of heaven on earth.